Monday, August 01, 2011

Review and Comment on The News 8/1/2011

Taking a cue from the NFL:

Last Minute Debt Deal Done!

Kicking the can down the road?


Communists and Baggers filled with rage:

President Obama has landed a deal with Republicans to make sweeping cuts in government spending in exchange for raising the debt ceiling. The deal was brokered with literally hours to go before the U.S. exhausted its ability to borrow money, but its success in the House is still uncertain.

Progressive Democrats are irate that the bill makes sweeping cuts without any revenue increases, and Tea Party members could hold their ground against any deal that doesn't require stricter spending controls. Over the next few hours, party leaders will be convincing their most ideological members they should hold their noses and pass the bill.

Linguistic Ledgerdemain? No new taxes? Methinks that may not be true. Don't The Fuhrer's tax cuts expire at the end of 2012, thus returning tax rates to Pre-Fuhrer levels? My theory of "raising taxes is easy, cutting spending, not so much" may still be in play....read on...

Cuts backloaded:

WASHINGTON (AP) — The first phase of a deal to raise the government's borrowing limit would pose little threat to the economy in the short term because almost none of the spending cuts would occur before 2014.

Discretionary spending
, which excludes Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, would be cut by only $7 billion in 2012 and $3 billion in 2013, according a summary by Senate Democrats. That's a tiny fraction of the nation's $14 trillion economy.
"That's certainly inconsequential for the economy if that's all it is," said Mark Vitner, a Wells Fargo Securities economist.

Leftist standing on the windowsill:

Obamer got rolled?

Krugman: Obamer's Complete Intellectual Surrender:

I’m not alone in marveling at the extent to which Obama has thrown his rhetorical weight behind anti-Keynesian economics; Ryan Avent is equally amazed, as are many others. And now he’s endorsing the structural unemployment story too.
To those defending Obama on the grounds that he’s saying what he has to politically, I have two answers. First, words matter — as people who rallied around Obama in the first place because of his eloquence should know. Yes, he has to make compromises on policy grounds — but that doesn’t mean he has to adopt the right’s rhetoric and arguments. The effect of his intellectual capitulation is that we now have only one side in the national argument.
Second, since Obama keeps talking nonsense about economics, at what point do we stop giving him credit for actually knowing better? Maybe at some point we have to accept that he believes what he’s saying.

Not exactly standing on the windowsill, but none too pleased:

Michelle Turner-Overdrive:

Greece is the
word:

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.). who is seeking the Republican presidential nomination, said today on Laura Ingraham's radio show that the debt-limit deal struck by President Barack Obama and congressional leaders is “like saying we embrace being Greece."


God, I'd hit that....with the fury of a thousand suns...

...so anyway...

Hottest summer in 4 1/2 billion years!

D.C. Centric Analysis? The Washington Times backs Uncle Albert: D.C. in flames, it's our fault, Gore still strangely quiescent...

This comes as no surprise:


A new report says that adults in Washington D.C. abuse alcohol more than anyone else in the country.
According to a new study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), 8.1 percent of adults age 26 or older in D.C. are alcohol dependent. Looking at a long-term sampling, alcohol abuse rate is on the rise for the District, according to the survey.
The Washington Examiner first reported the story, noting that alcohol abuse has been a chronic issue in the District, affecting residents from the city's streets to former First Lady Betty Ford in the White House.

Try getting along without us asshole.

(Reuters) - Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin accused the United States Monday of living beyond its means "like a parasite" on the global economy and said dollar dominance was a threat to the financial markets.

...next time your fucking quardatriticale fails, don't come crying to us...

As always, The Onion delivers.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Obamer, Boner no closer to deal. World to be rent in twain. Chaos everywhere....

....but wonder reigns.

The Good News: The NFC East is now shed of one Donovan McNabb.

The Bad News: Sadistic Fuck, Dog Torturer still there.

The Good News: The Jason Garrett era begins.

The Mixed News: The Tony Romo era continues.

....and maybe Brett Favre going to Philthadelphia will disrupt the Eagles 2011 Campaign.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Review and Comment on The News 7/24/11

Say it isn't so...

John Lennon, one of the bad guys?




John Lennon was a closet Republican, who felt a little embarrassed by his former radicalism, at the time of his death - according to the tragic Beatles star's last personal assistant.

Fred Seaman worked alongside the music legend from 1979 to Lennon's death at the end of 1980 and he reveals the star was a Ronald Reagan fan who enjoyed arguing with left-wing radicals who reminded him of his former self.

In new documentary Beatles Stories, Seaman tells filmmaker Seth Swirsky Lennon wasn't the peace-loving militant fans thought he was while he was his assistant.

He says, "John, basically, made it very clear that if he were an American he would vote for Reagan because he was really sour on (Democrat) Jimmy Carter.

"He was a very different person back in 1979 and 80 than he'd been when he wrote Imagine. By 1979 he looked back on that guy and was embarrassed by that guy's naivete."

....Frank Gifford did recall seeing Ronald Reagan and Lennon buddying around at a Monday Night Football game and said he thought it rather odd, yet used the moment as a testimony to football's healing power...I myself often find myself closeted with radicals during the High Holy Times...nyuck, nyuck...


Speaking of football:

NFL Lightning Round...


Rejoice??: 

The NFL Players Association and the league's owners have reached agreement on the remaining points needed in their 10-year labor deal, sources from both sides said.

Despite the fact the new agreement will require a majority vote from the players, that part of the deal between the two sides is considered a formality, according to sources.

The NFLPA is making plans for a major press conference Monday. But first the player reps' executive committee is scheduled to fly to Washington, D.C., on Sunday so they can vote Monday.

Rapist ties the knot, er, gets hitched...

PITTSBURGH (AP)—Ben Roethlisberger(notes) got the privacy he wanted for his wedding Saturday, with police providing tight security around the church in affluent Ohio Township where he and Ashley Harlan were married and tinted windows on expensive cars leaving much of the guest list a mystery.

...hopefully this will keep him out of bar bathroom stalls....

No one saw this coming:

Toast:

The Choir Invisible:

Winehouse now belongs to the ages:

The sordid details of Amy Winehouse's final hours emerged today, with claims that she bought a cocktail of narcotics including cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine.

Although the exact cause of death has not yet been released by police, Sunday tabloids have claimed she was seen buying drugs from a dealer in Camden just after 10:30pm on Friday.

A source told The People that she was seen buying substances, believed to be cocaine, heroin, ecstasy and ketamine leading up to the hours before her death.

She is also thought to have been drinking heavily, which may have been the trigger of a lethal concoction of drugs and alcohol

Imagine if her name had been Amy Porterhouse, she could have died in a competitive eating mishap, her sinuses packed with meat...

Obamer, Boner: Still no deal:

Talks between House Speaker John Boehner and President Obama to raise the debt ceiling in conjunction with sweeping spending cuts and tax and entitlement reform have broken down. There will be no "grand bargain" to deal with the debt crisis and raise the debt ceiling.
Boehner's decision to abandon negotiations with President Obama puts an end to a deal that would have cut spending by up to $3.5 trillion over the next 10 years and increased tax revenues by close to a trillion dollars. But the $14.3 trillion debt ceiling must be raised by Aug. 2nd to avoid a government default.

 It's easy to raise taxes, cut spending? Not so much...

Another Fuhrer waiting in the wings?:

Jeb Bush(Hitler?):

I don’t anticipate that. You never say never. This is a standard answer that I’ve kind of learned how to give which is — you never say never, but I never rule out being on Dancing with the Stars either … there are a lot of ways you can make a difference."

...I don't think the bulging veins in the Neck Collective of the Angry Left could handle another BushHitler regime. Imagine, (I started with Lennon, so I may as well keep throwing that word around), if he picked Liz CheneyBraun as his running mate? It's easy if you try. Oh, the pain, the gnashing of teeth....Olbermann would hemorrhage, go Ditka, blow a kidney, pop a spleen, it might be worth subscribing to Uncle Al's Current TV just to watch the Raiders of The Lost Ark type facemelt that he would visit upon us...

Heat wave sweeping the nation, Gore still strangely quiescent.

Do they have the death penalty in Norway??

SUNDVOLLEN, Norway (Reuters) - Norway mourned on Sunday 93 people killed in a shooting spree and car bombing by a Norwegian who saw his attacks as "atrocious, but necessary" to defeat liberal immigration policies and the spread of Islam.

In his first comment via a lawyer since his arrest, Anders Behring Breivik, 32, said he wanted to explain himself at a court hearing Monday about extending his custody.

Sadly, I don't think you can kill that fucker as many times as he needs to be killed.

Oh
noes:

Obamer, moist towelette to bidness, a socialist who instills fear:


And I’m saying it bluntly, that this administration is the greatest wet blanket to business, and progress and job creation in my lifetime.

The guy keeps making speeches about redistribution and maybe we ought to do something to businesses that don't invest, their holding too much money. We haven't heard that kind of talk except from pure socialists. Everybody's afraid of the government and there's no need soft peddling it, it's the truth. It is the truth. And that's true of Democratic businessman and Republican businessman, and I am a Democratic businessman and I support Harry Reid. I support Democrats and Republicans. And I'm telling you that the business community in this company is frightened to death of the weird political philosophy of the President of the United States. And until he's gone, everybody's going to be sitting on their thumbs.

This is quite the tenses...someone needs to point out to this mutli-gazillionaire that Harry supports the president...

The face of pain:


Friday, July 22, 2011

Review and Comment on The News 7/22/11

Boner:

We're nowhere near an agreement.

The Senate on Friday firmly rejected a House Republican bill to slash spending and require a balanced-budget amendment, leaving unresolved with just days to go the urgent issue of increasing the nation's borrowing powers.

The 51-46 Senate vote against the tea party-backed measure—which had been expected in the Democratic-run chamber—came shortly after House Speaker John Boehner told reporters he and President Barack Obama had failed to reach a separate agreement to resolve the debt crisis.

"There was no agreement, publicly, privately, never an agreement, and frankly not close to an agreement," Boehner said. "So I suggest it's going to be a hot weekend here in Washington, D.C."

I've got a brilliant idea! Let's raise taxes during the shittiest economy in the last 12,000 years: 

A White House gambit to clinch a grand bargain with House Republicans on the debt ceiling ran into trouble Thursday when Senate Democrats decried any attempt to forge a deal without guaranteed new tax revenues.

...because we need to raise revenues so our government can conduct vital research such as this:

Washington, July 19 (ANI):

A US study on the effect a gay man's penis size has on his sex life and general well being, which was backed by the National Institutes of Health, has caused outrage over the use of taxpayers' money to fund it.

The study resulted in a 2009 report titled, 'The Association Between Penis Size and Sexual Health Among Men Who Have Sex with Men'. The study was among several backed by the National Institutes of Health that have come under scrutiny from a group claiming the agency is wasting valuable tax dollars at a time when the country is trying to control its debt.

....not that there's anything wrong with that...

Cain content to Let it Ride:

Michelle Turner Overdrive has migraines:

DOVER, N.H. -- Presidential contender Herman Cain says Michele Bachmann's migraine headaches are a non-issue. Speaking after a New Hampshire Republican Party fundraiser, the former Godfather's Pizza CEO weighed in on Bachmann's health, which has become the focus of intense scrutiny in recent days. Bachmann, a Minnesota congresswoman and presidential candidate, is a tea party favorite like Cain. She acknowledged this week suffering from migraines.

CainHermanHitler is missing a golden opportunity here. Now is the time to strike, whilst the iron is hot, if Richard Millstone Nixon had exposed JFK's back problems and his endless litany of other ailments, Kennedy would have passed away relatively peacefully in the mid-90s and we could have gotten Watergate out of the way back in the 60s...or Nixon may have wound up on the Zapruder Tape and Kennedy would have been forced to step down from higher office in the 70s...

All hail the Multiverse!

Leftists! Stay away from the American Flag! It could very well turn you to The Dark Side:

As a visitor to the USA, one sometimes gets the feeling that it’s hard to move or look around without seeing a flag. They are seemingly everywhere, an omnipresent reminder of national identity. But the star-spangled banner is more than a symbol; it can also influence minds in unexpected ways. Travis Carter from the University of Chicago has found that when people think about voting decisions, the mere sight of the American flag can subtly shift their political views… towards Republicanism. It’s an effect that holds in both Democrats and Republicans, it affects actual votes, and it lasts for at least 8 months.

8 months? Wow, it's like a spell....




I too am susceptible to this syndrome, everytime I see this:


I vote Democrat. Ha Ha! I make funny joke...

A twat governs by tweets:

Chavez (undergoing cancer treatment) carries out his sworn duties from Cuber, where they have the greatest health care system in the world:

CARACAS, Venezuela (AP) - Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is using Twitter as a tool to govern remotely while he undergoes cancer treatment in Cuba. 

I can't help but think of poor soon to be Olbermann sidedick Tony Weiner, if only he had utilized this mighty technological breakthrough for good instead of stupid maybe.. just maybe...

All hail The Multiverse!!


In more than 40 messages this week on his "chavezcandanga" account, he has approved money for a Caracas trash collection project, praised plans for a new park and cheered on the national soccer team.

Who knows? Maybe it is the greatest system on earth, numbnuts is still alive....

Rupert Murdoch's troubles deepen:

New York Republican Pete King is calling on the FBI to investigate whether Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation hacked into the voicemail accounts of Sept. 11 victims, calling the allegations of the scandal “disgraceful.”

“As I see it, I would expect more things to be coming out over the next several weeks,” King told POLITICO. “And as we approach 9/11, the tenth anniversary, it’s even going to get worse.”

King said in the letter, addressed to FBI Director Robert Mueller, that the journalists should face felony charges if the allegations are proven true.

This could go all the way to Brit Hume....

Heat wave sweeps US, Gore strangely quiescent.


This just in:

CBS/AP) ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A federal Judge on Friday denied bail to tainted-yogurt suspect Anthony Garcia, saying his behavior was getting worse and he's a danger to the community.

The Albuquerque man will therefore remain in the custody of the U.S. Marshals Service until his trial, reports CBS affiliate KRQE.

The detention hearing came a day after Garcia pleaded not guilty to charges of adulterating food and lying during a federal investigation. Police say Garcia gave a customer a sample of yogurt laced with his semen when he worked at Sunflower Market near Corrales Road in January.

....Tainted?? Tainted?? I would say it was a little more than tainted....makes Weiner look a little less insert joke here....

In the end, even his boyish good looks and vibrant, bouncy hair couldn't save him.

Captain Two Americas in deep, double dutch:

John Edwards’s campaign committee must pay back $2.3 million in federal matching funds it received during his unsuccessful bid for the presidency in 2008, the Federal Election Commission ruled on Thursday. The decision was unanimous against the campaign mounted by Edwards, who was indicted in June on eight federal felony charges for alleged violations of campaign finance laws related to his cover-up of an affair.

This could go all the way to Brit Hume....

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Hizzoner/Double Facepalm...

Nagin:“I thought to myself, ‘I’m a dead man! I have just publicly denounced the governor, U.S. Senators, FEMA and the president of the United States, he writes. “I started wondering if during the night I would be visited by specially trained CIA agents. Could they secretly shoot me with a miniature, slow-acting poison dart?"

This is not going to end well...

Remember that Chinese teen who sold his kidney for an iPad 2? That was bad enough, but now another Chinese teen is following his lead and offering something even more irreplaceable in exchange for an iPhone 4. She’s selling her virginity.
 According to the Korean Herald, a Chinese girl born sometime in the 1990s wrote on Weibu (China’s version of Twitter) that it was her dream to own an iPhone 4.

Because her father wouldn’t let her have one, though, she was willing to sell her virginity to anyone who was willing to buy it for her. She accompanied her request with pictures.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Halliburton Humiliated by Interplanetary Asteroid Launcher's Near Miss

Ceres (AP) - In a last ditch (and oh so last decade) attempt to bring the earth to heel, Halliburton has announced that their latest effort to obliterate this planet and it's denizens will fall short of expectations and whiz harmlessly (albeit closely) past on Monday.

"Painstaking calculations and years of  blood, sweat, tears and diabolical laughter will be for naught." said Rodovan van Ratvandenblixt on Saturday. Halliburton's waning influence has been in the news of late, most notably the failure of their fast-food restaurant chain Halliburgers, former ViceFuhrer Cheney's resignation from The Daily Kos as principal diarist "Moonflower" and a host of other setbacks that have sent this once noble institution into a tailspin. Media analysts speculate that this latest attack was the last dying gasp, the end of an era.  

Friday, June 24, 2011

Oh Boy! This should be a smash....

Olberpersonn and Weiner to team up on the new Albert Arnold Channel?

Keith Olbermann has his sights set on Anthony Weiner but not as a guest on his new show on Al Gore's CarbonCreditTV, which debuts Monday. Rather, Olbermann -- who also is the network's chief news officer -- recently hinted on NBC's Late Night With Jimmy Fallon that he might hire Weiner for his own talk show on the cable network.

I know I personally am still missing Captain Blowhole on Sunday Night Football...maybe Weiner should fill his slot... <----(lame attempt at a Weiner Joke)...

Best Weiner Moment:

Benjy Bronk!!!


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Can't wait to see the wanted poster for this one...

Shithead Eludes Authorities.

Boulder police are looking for a man who hid in the tank of a portable toilet at a yoga festival before running off.
A woman at the Hanuman Festival went into the portable toilet Friday and noticed something moving in the tank when she lifted the lid, according to police spokeswoman Kim Kobel. The woman exited and asked a man nearby to look inside the tank.
The man told police he saw something moving under a tarp, and when he left the toilet he heard it lock from the inside.
A security supervisor then waited outside for the person to emerge. When he did, the supervisor tried to get him to sit down, Kobel said, but he ran off, covered in feces.

The suspect, who was not wearing a shirt or shoes when he came out of the toilet, was described as a white man in his 20s wearing gray sweatpants, around 6-foot-5 to 6-foot-8-inches tall with a skinny build and black hair.
Witnesses also said he had cuts on his back and arms. Some at the festival said he might be a transient who goes by the name "Sky."

Only in Boulder....






Wednesday, June 15, 2011

If this is as close as I'll get to seeing this c**ks**ker frogmarched I'll guess I'll have to take it..


That perfect hair and dazzling smile. I wonder what kind of shampoo and conditioner he uses?
I hope he was subjected to a humiliating cavity search and I ain't talkin' about his teeth...why does all of my writing on here come out looking like some odd form of  Haiku?